i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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