I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
