I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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