You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
