he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
