I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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