The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Randomize
