She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
