It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Less talking, more tequila
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Randomize