5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
