she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Randomize
