I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Randomize
