Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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