i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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