We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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