do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Enjoy the penises
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
