Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
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All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
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Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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