oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
