Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
porn star boner night. come get it.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize
