Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
