I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
