I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
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