nut hugger
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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