did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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