Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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