OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
In other news, I just burned my penis
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
