Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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