Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
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