Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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