We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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