Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
