you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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