I accidentally burped into my bong.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
