i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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