I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
