I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
