allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
