Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
