ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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