I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
