Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
