Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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