scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize