I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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