You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
