guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Randomize
