You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
