im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Randomize
