Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I deserve this hangover.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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