That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
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