But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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