just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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