thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
