wakey wakey hands off snakey
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Randomize
