The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
