I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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