When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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