No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
