Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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