haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
