I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
