Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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