he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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