just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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