Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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