mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize
