my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Randomize
