ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
