More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
We left the knife in your bed.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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